T'was The Night Before Christmas.......................

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was sleeping except for MY SPOUSE.

The stockings needed stuffing but he didn't care

He was peacefully resting, it seemed so unfair.

I had baked and I'd Roasted, my fingers burned red.

While visions of pinching him danced in my head.

Replete from the dinner and triple nightcap

He had settled right down for his long Winter's nap.

When back in the kitchen there arose such a clatter

I thought he'd jump up and ask "what was the matter?"

But nothing could wake him, no flood, fire or flash

No soft muttered curses or glasses I'd smash.

I banged every saucepan and made SUCH a noise

but got no attention from him or the boys.

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear?

But a bottle of sherry from Christmas last year.

Without really thinking, I opened it quick

And knocked back four glasses which made me feel sick.

Now even MORE bolshy  and tired of this game

I whistled, and shouted, I called out his name!

"NOW DARLING PLEASE WAKE UP! MOVE YOUR BUTT TO THE KITCHEN!"

"WAKE Poppet! WAKE Stupid! So I can stop bitching"

"Our floors all need mopping, before friends come to call

PLEASE wash away! Wash away! Wash away ALL!"

As most overwhelmed wives, will for sure testify

When they meet such an obstacle, they need a good cry.

So up to the bedroom, for sulking I flew

And lay there a sniffling as resentment just grew.

But then from below, I thought I could hear

The crunching of nuts and the swilling of BEER!

I leaped from the bed, some new energy found

Down the staircase in fury I came with a bound.

He was all wet and soapy, from his chest to his knee

But the sight of him working, just filled me with GLEE!

A ragged old tea towel, slung over his back

Dishes rinsed, dried and placed in a sparkling clean stack!

His eyes how they twinkled, his demeanor quite merry

His cheeks were like roses, as he knocked back MY sherry!

The oven was gleaming, the food put away

The place looked quite perfect, so what could I say?

A nice plate of snacks had been laid out for me

My favorite crackers and a ripe wheel of brie.

When I saw what had happened, I was shocked to my belly

He was no longer sleeping in front of the Telly!

In my frilly green apron he looked like an elf

And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and this man that I wed

Let me know that he loved me though nothing was said.

He spoke not a word, but went back to his work

Of proving forever he's not such a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose

He rolled up his sleeves, to the challenge he rose!

He sprang back into action and got down to his cleaning

Every pot got a scrubbing, Every surface was gleaming.

And he heard me exclaim as I slunk out of sight

Happy Christmas my Darling and thanks for tonight!

Comments

[marge]

Even before the poem, Denis was my hero he could do no wrong
Denis, you never fail to amaze me with your versatility. love xx

[marge]

Even before the poem, Denis was my hero he could do no wrong
Denis, you never fail to amaze me with your versatility. love xx

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[MARIE]

At last Denis but dont wait till next xmas to help again !!! . Great blog Jude made me smile. Happy New Year to you all xx