Matchmaker Matchmaker
Saturday, October 22, 2011 at 08:11PM Now that I have two adult sons I find I am TOTALLY in favor of arranged marriage. Prior to becoming a parent I thought the whole concept was barbaric and inhumane but all of a sudden it seems to make PERFECT sense. After all who knows a child better than it's Mama and Papa? And who else really has their best interests at heart? Watching your kids date a bunch of LOSERS while smiling and pretending to like them requires enormous restraint and a lot of patience, neither of which are qualities that I have in abundance.
Although several of Rockstar's girlfriends have been perfectly LOVELY they have all fallen at the first fence and in fact his average relationship endurance time seems to have reduced from three months to about three weeks. Meanwhile on my travels around the world I am meeting wonderful young women who are strong contenders for the honor of bearing my future grandchildren. I currently have my eye on some Prada wearing twin Interior Designers who despite being a few years older than Rockstar and Genius would make absolutely IDEAL wives. The Prada Twins are tall, skinny, beautiful, talented, intelligent and funny but most important of all they actually seem to quite like ME which as any mother of sons knows is probably the SINGLE most important quality for a prospective daughter-in-law, if one is not to be cast as That Dreadful Woman We Have to See Twice a Year.
Of course as per traditional arranged marriages the most promising matches for one's offspring are the children of your BEST friends. The REASON they are your best friends is that you share the same values so OBVIOUSLY they raised their children correctly (by your standards) otherwise you would have stopped speaking to them YEARS ago. Now those children are all grown up and are potentially perfect mates for yours. After all they got along just fine when they were five years old and playing in the sandbox so I can't think of one good reason why they couldn't learn to love each other now. Just think how WONDERFUL family occasions would be if your in-laws were your best friends? And I am quite sure planning the weddings would be a lot less stressful and a lot MORE fun.
On this basis I believe that the Lacey, Bell, Stuart, La France, Cotterell and Benson girls should ditch their current beaus and start dating Rockstar and Genius (not simultaneously.) Unfortunately (like the Prada Twins) they all live on different continents so my meddlesome interference is unlikely to bear fruit (or Grandkids) which is probably a great relief for all concerned. Still, one can dream.........................
Reader Comments (2)
HI JUDE BEEN THERE DONE THAT, HAPPY NOW. LOVE MUM IN LAW XX
hahahaha. The comment is priceless. My pilates classmates are after my daughter!